I Can't Help It

by Ellen Siberian Tiger

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released May 12, 2015

Vocals, guitar - Ellen Tiberio-Shultz
Drums, banjo - Jon Cox
Bass, trombone - Collin Dennen
Guitar - Jack Bagby
Vocals, violin, guitar - Catherine Joy Parke
Violin - Drew Percy
Vibrophone - Dylan Vadakin
All songs written by Ellen Tiberio-Shultz.
Recorded at 37 foot records with Steph Durwin and Zach Bloomstein.
Mixed and mastered by M. Henry.
Album art and cover design by Seph Hamilton and Tommy Bruce.



all rights reserved


Ellen Siberian Tiger Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Ellen Siberian-Tiger is a 3-piece feminist indie rock band with orchestral and punk influences currently based in Philadelphia, PA.


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Track Name: I Can't Help It
I can’t help it.
I can’t help myself,
I reminisce.
I miss you.

You won’t say it.
I won’t take it back.
You were so dressed up,
Did you take my hand in costume?

You speak to me of unrequited love,
And don’t I know better than anyone about
Fools planting flowers where there’s no sun.
And did I expect you to grow to love me?

I can’t take it.
I can’t stop myself.
I think of her,
I know she thinks of me.

Somewhere in Austin, Texas she’s sitting.
One day she’ll want to sit with me.

She speaks to me of unrequited love,
And so I know better than anyone about
Fools planting flowers where there’s no sun.
Yet still I expect her to grow to love me.

She speaks to me of unrequited love, and so I, and so I…
Track Name: Sylvia
Big breath I take.
My insides are spinning,
Ever-wet paint.
I begin to end.

Wrong side of the glass.
Jesus was a divine loser.
Not so fast.

Will it hurt?
Did our mothers’ earn
Their place in the dirt.

Wanderer, have a seat at the traveler’s table.
Drink is on me.
I’m not afraid of the dark. Though they said I wasn’t able,
I knew I could see.

Will I dream?
Is this it?
Is this me?
Track Name: I Smelled The Rain
Well I smelled the rain and
I saw the storm but
I thought “thunder is as lightening does”
So I did not sound alarm
And now my hands are wet
And my feet are cold.
You’re a man who needs a hug
But won’t let anybody hold him.

You’ve got a heart like Cinderella
With a curfew that you keep:
Your love goes home at midnight
While I am losing sleep.
But you have left no glass slipper,
There’s no test for you to take.
And even if the shoe did fit,
How long until you break it?

Well, maybe you are fickle,
Maybe you are cruel.
You might be a wolf in clothing
Made of sheep’s wool.
But I am a wanderer,
road dirt in my shoes.
And I don’t run from love
So I’ve no use for those that do.

Well you’re jumping into puddles
And then running from the splash.
I never knew a person
Who could change their mind so fast.
But are you watching where you’re walking
When you’re fleeing from the scene?
Your hands have gotten dirty,
Are you still sure they’re clean?

You’re a lesson in forgiveness,
That’s all that I can say.
I knew that you could give
And now I’ve learned just what you take.
‘cause you’ve been many different people
making many different sounds;
I’d have to be a tracker
With my ear against the ground.

Well maybe you’re a fucker,
Maybe I’m a fool.
But you are just a man
Not sheep nor wolf.
But I’m still a wanderer,
That’s the road I choose.
And I’m running for love
With or without you.
Track Name: Asleep In The River
She takes away her smile for me
And with it goes my home.
And though these faces are in front of me,
She makes me feel alone.
Don’t we all thrive on misery?
If only just for show.
And what is it you could bring to me
To give back what I lost?

So go
Run to the river, throw me in, see if I float.
Oh no
Sleeping in the river bed. Tell me, would you care if I froze?

The color red we bought at midnight
Is the same shade that I bleed.
No longer what we use to pass the time,
Not since these cuts so deep.
Tell me what I did to harm you.
And is it too late to make it right?
It only takes so many words to tell the truth
And in half as many you’re telling lies.

So go
Run to the river, throw me in, see if I float.
Oh no
Sleeping in the river bed. Tell me, would you care if I froze?

Did you think that I would wait forever?
Did you think that I could be just one big block of ice?
Or maybe you just can’t remember
What it was like
When I was in your life.
And I know you’re gonna blame it all on me.
Yeah I know I didn’t fit with what you wanna be.
But did you know that I couldn’t see a way out without you?
And in your river I nearly drowned.
Track Name: Cuttlefish
May I sing to you a song of insignificance?
Just this once.
May I kiss your palm, put meaning in the meaningless?
Would you hide your hands?
Did you forget that
We had plans to dance, and yes I wanted to.

Finger painting on my belly just like in my daydreams.
I have so much left to say…

Like the way you taste like smoke.
I wanted to explain what that meant to me.
But honestly it’s not so romantic
As kissing hands or feet.

Now you see it’s gotten out of hand.
Let me explain.
With two bodies moving quickly there can be collision,
And I’m not ready to turn my head.
But I don’t over estimate the callus or the compliment.
If you’ll believe me
Then I’ll believe that
You would never say what you don’t mean.

But you are only equal to the sum of your parts
And I’m bad at addition.
For I am cursed with two hands but only one heart,
And “touch” and “feel” are different.

The cuttlefish don’t seem to care that he’s nothing.
And you’re no one to me.
I’m sure that I’ll do my best but there’s nothing
Your newly fixed eyes won’t see.
Track Name: Mrs. Pontellier
Mrs. Pontellier did die,
If she could die then so could I
‘cause we both thought that love would see us through.
If I haven’t lost my faith, it’s fine.
Ten more years ‘til I’m twenty nine,
Maybe then you’ll find me deep in blue.

Who can tell if I’ve been bruised or bitten?
I’ve met a lot of men and I’ve met a lot of women.
One thing love never does is set us free.
Lady learned it, then she taught it to me.

Mrs. Pontellier woke up,
Looked around, and then she thought,
“these men are taking everything that’s mine.”
Edna darling looked around,
Saw the sea and heard the sound
And thought to herself that “it’s only a matter of time.”

No one knew if she’d been bruised or bitten.
She knew a lot of men and she knew a lot of women.
One thing they never did was set her free.
She learned it then she taught it to me.

Edna dear, I know it’s sad
To be woman in a world that favors a man
But oh how I wish that you would have tried harder to swim.
Yeah I know, it’s a real raw deal.
You can’t say what you like or fuck who you feel
But you would have done better than him.

Now we’ll never ever ever know if you were bruised or bitten.
I asked the men and I asked the women.
Did that ocean finally set you free?
is that what you were trying to teach to me?

Mrs. Pontellier did die,
She did die but no not I
Because I learned what Edna never knew.
I didn’t lose my faith this time,
And I’ll remember when I’m twenty nine:
It’s always better to swim than to sink in blue.
Track Name: Pine Needles
A memory: Two ladies bathed in gold.
Just a dream? A hairbrush in the hands they hold.
A mother and a daughter,
And don’t they look just right?

Now, look at me I’m such an awful
Look at me I’m such an awful
Look at me I’m such an awful sight.

But I’m not sorry for the shaking of your head.
There are more important things to be said and done and worried about.
But I won’t forget the look in your eyes
When you tell me I’m no longer just right.

Is your daughter gone? And did I go too far?
When I cut my hair, when I kissed her lips, did I break your heart?
And did you ask my sister “Oh, what can we do?

Now, look at her before she’s out of
Look at her, she’s almost out of
Look at her, she’s almost out of sight.”

When did I become someone you have to worry about?
And I won’t forget the love in your eyes…
If you wont.

All my friends are pine needles, watch your step and watch your feet,
And both my hands are woven now. Oh the smell, the wood is sweet.
I’ll walk where ground is hallowed now: bare my skin. Show my teeth.
I’ll toy with lights and shadows now, there it is: version of me
With all my friends.
All my friends.
Track Name: When We Grow Up
We will sit in little pieces on the floor like a puzzle.
Throw ourselves together and we’ll make something nice.
Someday when we grow up.
Someday when we grow up.

The right place, the right time.

One day I will be more than a flower arrangement,
and I won’t have to worry about being being nice.

One day when I grow up.
One day when I grow up.

The right place, the right time.
Track Name: Lion Hearted
I am a girl grown lion-hearted,
king of this land.
I drink blood and soil from cupped hands.

I am a tortoise-shell reflection
of bathtub water.
Only see me when the candle burns low.

I’m not convinced it wasn’t real.
I know what I saw.
I know how I feel.
I close my eyes.

I’m not so tired, I dream.
I’m not so tongue tied,
I can say what I mean.

I am a girl grown lion-hearted,
am I king of my own hands?
Upon whose soil do I stand?

I close my eyes...

I’m not so tired I dream.
I’m not so tongue tied,
I can...

I’m not so tired I dream.
I’m not so...